The truth as I see it: Executive Order

Executive Order
Austin Rucker
SMU Daily Campus
1/19/07

Hell Yeah! It’s time to learn. President George W. Bush, or Jorge, to you Hispanic voters, has decided to drop a fat pile of books on us and let us build the house to put them in. So with this power comes responsibility. Let’s reflect for a minute what it means to be a Library, and how we might craft such a building to honor our glorious leader. For the fatherland.

Out of respect, we need to include the kind of material our shepherd would use himself. Now I’m not suggesting we make it a children’s library, but at the same time you can’t go building libraries without making it a kind of homage to the namesake. In that vein, I have taken it upon myself to suggest a few things that will characterize this house of knowledge as the stomping grounds of the historical juggernaut it is named after.

For one, let’s make some cuts to the history section. Who cares? Most of that crap went down in the past and therefore won’t happen again. Last thing we need is some jerk with a degree explaining what went down six hundred years ago. I mean, come on, we remember the important stuff, and everything else, right? Well, the people who did that stuff are long dead, so let’s just cut it out. We need to focus on the future and what’s important.

Let’s get a section on warfare and nation building. Get some John Keegan and Peter Paret and maybe 20,000 copies of “The Forgotten Soldier” so everyone can understand the kind of weight our president sleeps under every night.

Continued here.

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